Time

Time is a song that I wrote in high school after a break up. I was in a place in my life when I was realizing what I wanted and who I wanted to be. As a 16 or 17 year old girl I believed that, whoever was my boyfriend at the time, defined who I was. I was stuck between two possible relationships because I was stuck between two possible versions of myself. I fully believed the lie that I needed to have a boyfriend in order to shape who I was and wanted to be. I didn’t believe that I could be exactly who I wanted to be without the “help” of anyone else. Honestly, I was in a place where I felt like nothing if I didn’t have somebody to “love” me.

Photo by Carlos Quintero on Unsplash

One of my favorite lines of this song is “It’s funny how when it’s dark, we see less color”, which is both scientifically and metaphorically true.

I’m no scientist, but let me try to give an overview of how we see light and color. Our eyes have things called rods and cones: the cones let us see color, and the rods let us see in very dim lighting, but can’t detect color. That’s why it seems like everything is in black and white when it’s dark. I learned this fun fact in high school shortly before writing this song, which is how I got inspired to think of it in a deeper, metaphorical way. When life sucks, when things are hard, when darkness is closing in all around you, you can’t see the color. You can’t see the goodness, the positivity, and the hope. You lose sight of all of the good things… you lose sight of the color. Did I have to let myself stay stuck in the dark, only seeing in black and white? Absolutely not. I am in control. My finger is on the light switch and I have the power to take control of my own happiness. I’ve said it before and i will say it again and again: I will always make it a point to count it all as joy. Even the sucky, dark, colorless stuff. Part of me wishes that I could go back and tell my teenage self not to sulk in the bad times, and, instead, focus on building myself up and using the negative experiences for good. Looking back, I suppose this is what eventually ended up happening. Though, just like any teenager, there was a long road of stubbornness and self-discovery.


Now, however, I’m so thankful that my teenage self obsessively wrote out all of her feelings so that I can study them as an adult and as a mother. I can take my documented feelings and emotional struggles and apply them to how I parent today and in the future. Which, to me, is an invaluable resource.

If you take anything away from this song, let it be that you are loved, important, and that your true self is worth finding and that you don’t need another person to help you find it. And, if you’re a mother, then I hope you can take away the same lessons to help your teenagers find themselves in this crazy world. I hope that you enjoyed the song! Don’t forget to listen to it and subscribe to my YouTube channel for all of my latest music.

Click here to give it a listen!
Time
By Drew Gulliver

All I want is to write you a happy song.
It’s hard when all I remember is despair.
It’s funny how, when it’s dark, we see less color.

Isn’t it all just a matter of love at the right time
All just a matter of perception

When I see you standing there all alone.
I think to myself, what about tomorrow?

Isn’t it all just a matter of meeting at the right time?
All just a matter of availability?

(Instrumental)

Sometimes I get in these ruts.
When I look at you and look at him and think:
What if everything was different?
What if I’d taken that chance.

But if I go through life thinking about what if’s mmm
If I go through life thinking what could be different oh
I’d never do anything, I’d never love you.
And that’s something that I can’t lose.

Isn’t it all just a matter of love at the right time?
All just a matter of perception?
Isn’t it all just a matter of meeting at the right time?
All just a matter of availability?

But if I go through life thinking about what if’s mmm
If I go through life thinking what could be different oh
I’d never do anything, I’d never love you.
And that’s something that I can’t lose.

And that’s something that I did lose.

Author: Drew Gulliver

A young wife and mom with a love of making home feel like home and food taste like happiness who spends her free time singing way too loudly in her kitchen or engulfed in a good game.

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