It was a Sunday morning when my life changed forever. I sat on the bed listening to my boyfriend, Tyler, talk to his mom on the phone.
“Yeah, the line is so faint. I can barely see it at all. I’m not even sure if it’s really there,” he said to her, pacing the entire length of his studio apartment. Silence was followed by multiple nods and “okay’s”.
“Well?” I looked down at the pregnancy test in my hands, blinking frantically, unsure if I was imagining the faint line or not.
“She said, if there’s a line, then you’re pregnant. No matter how faint,” he explained to me as he tried to hold back a nervous, fearful, and slightly excited laugh. We never could take each other very seriously, especially during the most intense moments.
My stomach leaped, foreshadowing the 16 weeks of vomiting that was soon to follow. I was terrified. Terrified to tell my family, terrified to tell my professors, terrified for my life to change. I was young. We were naive. But we were so in love and determined to build the family that we had always dreamed of starting together. Even if it was happening a little bit sooner than we expected.
A few days later I told one of my professors. This was my turning point. She was so kind, so understanding, and so supportive. I will never forget her excitement for me. She walked me down the hall to chat with the heads of the Music Therapy department. I found myself in a room full of loving, supportive women. Once again, I will never forget their kindness during one of the scariest times of my life. Some of them wanted me to stay in school, but they understood my decision. I had to drop out. I applaud any woman who chooses to do it all. You are amazing.
I was lucky enough to have the ability to choose to be a stay at home mom. Looking back, there’s no way that I could have made it work. I was bedridden for four straight months, throwing up an average of 3 times a day. Every. Single. Day.
Tyler and I got married on April 2nd, 2016 and we welcomed our daughter into the world on October 1st, 2016. Our beginning was stressful and full of unknowns, but I am so proud of us and how far we have come. We even added another baby girl to the mix, just 19 months younger than her big sister. My two lovely Unicorns.